What the Hell is "Normal?" : Redefining Our Favorite Word
Have you ever gone through a time in your life when things were bat-shit crazy? I'm not talking about day to day mom crazy, I'm talking about your world being upside down and sideways and not being able to catch your breath, despite a plethora of fresh air outside your door.
I have! And I am still. From the unexpected and all-too-soon birth of my nephew, to losing my Grandma, to bringing home this new baby to raise him, to a HUGE move into a "new to us" home that was once my Grandma's. And crap scattered in between. All in the past 6 months.
Did I mention that I also have a soon-to-be teenage boy at home? Preteen boys are a special breed. Boy moms, we can do this! I think.
My apologies, I digress. Back on track we go!
I have had people tell me, repeatedly, that I need to be maintaining some "normalcy" for my older boy. To protect his state of mind as our lives make this insane change. Excuse me while I laugh and laugh. And cry a little. And resist the urge to flip my lid.
What the hell is "normal?!" Once I figure out what that actually is, MAYBE, I can try to attain that magical unicorn. The only "normal" in my life, is going to sleep and waking up. Beyond that, I just toss a bunch of balls in the air each morning, and see which ones I can catch as the day progresses.
If you're reading this, you're probably a mom. So, we can relate! I mean, what is normal about saying some of the shit we say to our kids? "Don't pee there! We have a bathroom!" "Tell me that noise and stench that followed came from the diapered baby over there. Otherwise, you need to check your pants and we need to leave this restaurant NOW."
What is normal about that? And this is daily life! I literally don't know what "normal" looks like. "Typical" is even pushing it.
So, you can imagine, or maybe you've felt, the pressure of being or finding "normal." If you've felt the pressure, or are feeling it, I have some advice for you: STOP TRYING!
I'm not going to debate the existence of normalcy. There will always be someone out there who pretends to have their shit together and will argue that it exists and that it's attainable. Those are not my people, so I won't waste my breath. My people are real, raw, messed up people that just do their best to enjoy the crazy life they've been given.
The last sentence above, read it again. If you want to succeed at this mom-life gig, just be real. And keep doing YOUR best for YOU and YOUR KIDS.
I like the idea of protecting my kids from the pains of life. But, I'm not going to be fake about it. I'm not going to hide my emotions (did that, it bit me in the ass HARD with my 12 year old). I'm going to be open about feelings, struggles, and the crapiness that life can hand out. And then, I'm going to SHOW how to find joy in the pain, and the badassery that comes from overcoming the chaos.
Stawwwwp trying to be or find normal! You're going to drive yourself nuts! And our kids already have us half way there. Let's not let other people help us drive ourselves the rest of the way. Life is not normal. And our lives as people in general, but specifically as women and Moms, varies greatly. Embrace the crazy and pat yourself on the back when you've gotten you and your pack, through another day. Celebrate!
Enjoy your crazy, not-normal life! It's the best -- and only -- one you've got.